After being called in yesterday to go over Ambrosia's latest CT scan results, I knew the news wasn't going to be good. I just had a feeling. After we got to OMO and walked in, the first person I saw sitting out at a computer was the child psychologist. She is rarely over at OMO and somehow I knew she was there for us, which further indicated the news we were going to hear was not good.
Unfortunately the tumors have doubled in size since the last CT scan in April. This news was extremely hard to hear. They wanted to know our feelings on continuing with the IV chemo and the oral chemo and whether we thought it would be beneficial in any way. As of right now it is too early to tell how much time Ambrosia has left. When it gets closer to time, her body will give the doctors signs and they will be better able to estimate how much time we have left with her. Dr. Lucas also asked if we had given any thought to where we would like Ambrosia to be when she passed, whether at home or in the hospital. This is not something we have previously discussed.
They took some blood from her to check her CBC and numbers and we talked for awhile with the child psychologist. On Monday, they had put in a referral for Courageous Kids to get in contact with us. This is the children's division of Hosparus locally. They have not gotten in touch with us yet and I am to call the nurse practitioner if they have not done so by 2 pm today. They will provide 13 months of services to our family after Ambrosia passes. This is particularly important to me for Braeden to help him understand and cope with the loss of his sister.
Last night while getting Braeden ready for bed, I told him to go tell his daddy good night. Wes was holding Ambrosia and must have been visibly upset. Wes then told Braeden what was going on with his sister. He, of course, was upset and silently shedding tears. I asked him if he knew what heaven was and if sister became an angel what that meant. He said he knew it meant she died. We explained the doctors had been trying really hard to fix how sick she was but they were unable to do anymore. That is the hardest conversation I have ever had to have and no mother should have to explain to one of her children why their sibling won't be around for very much longer.
At this time we ask for your prayers and support as we have a lot of hard decisions to make regarding Ambrosia. I am particularly struggling today as I feel like I am getting sick on top of everything else going on. I also have a worry knot in my stomach that I am sure will not be going away for awhile.
Thank you to everyone for your support and prayers.
Unfortunately the tumors have doubled in size since the last CT scan in April. This news was extremely hard to hear. They wanted to know our feelings on continuing with the IV chemo and the oral chemo and whether we thought it would be beneficial in any way. As of right now it is too early to tell how much time Ambrosia has left. When it gets closer to time, her body will give the doctors signs and they will be better able to estimate how much time we have left with her. Dr. Lucas also asked if we had given any thought to where we would like Ambrosia to be when she passed, whether at home or in the hospital. This is not something we have previously discussed.
They took some blood from her to check her CBC and numbers and we talked for awhile with the child psychologist. On Monday, they had put in a referral for Courageous Kids to get in contact with us. This is the children's division of Hosparus locally. They have not gotten in touch with us yet and I am to call the nurse practitioner if they have not done so by 2 pm today. They will provide 13 months of services to our family after Ambrosia passes. This is particularly important to me for Braeden to help him understand and cope with the loss of his sister.
Last night while getting Braeden ready for bed, I told him to go tell his daddy good night. Wes was holding Ambrosia and must have been visibly upset. Wes then told Braeden what was going on with his sister. He, of course, was upset and silently shedding tears. I asked him if he knew what heaven was and if sister became an angel what that meant. He said he knew it meant she died. We explained the doctors had been trying really hard to fix how sick she was but they were unable to do anymore. That is the hardest conversation I have ever had to have and no mother should have to explain to one of her children why their sibling won't be around for very much longer.
At this time we ask for your prayers and support as we have a lot of hard decisions to make regarding Ambrosia. I am particularly struggling today as I feel like I am getting sick on top of everything else going on. I also have a worry knot in my stomach that I am sure will not be going away for awhile.
Thank you to everyone for your support and prayers.
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